Halfway Home Sick

This week marks the half-way point of our year here. I know this because we've been counting. Bohdan and I are so homesick. David and Vivi seem fine. I imagine David is faring well because his life isn't much different than in NH - he gets up Monday-Friday, eats breakfast, hangs with the kids for a short bit, goes to work, eats dinner, hangs with the fam then goes to bed. Weekends look much like they do back home. There are the occasional evening work meetings due to the time difference, and once a week he attends a French luncheon with me, but the rest of his schedule is remarkably the same.

Honestly, I'm not sure why Vivi is doing so well with regards to missing home, but I'm grateful for it. Perhaps it is her age. Perhaps it's simply an answer to prayer. She is more extroverted of our two children, so perhaps the structure and large-group atmosphere suit her, even if it is in French. She definitely misses her friends and family, but she approaches life here with such acceptance and adaptability it can be easy for me to forget that.

Then there's Bo. Poor, sweet Bo. God, I love that kid. He resists change with the same fortitude with which I seek it out. Makes for interesting family dynamics sometimes. For this year, it has all but broken us at times because we've changed everything. And I mean, e'rytang. So Bo has inspired my countdown - not because I regret being here and just want it to be over (even though there are days when this is absolutely true). As is so often the case with our children, his outward, larger-than-life responses reflect my deeper, inner conflicts. And as much as I say I love change, I can relate to the way Bohdan feels. I identify with his yearning for the familiar, with his longing for home and his nostalgia for our life.

During the first three months in France, our schedule was full with adjusting to the new environment and playing tourist. I am still behind with posting photos and stories of all our adventures tooling around taking in everything and anything we could. Then the holidays arrived in their typical surprise fashion. I had my moments of wishing we were home, but we kept busy attempting to maintain some of our traditions (like celebrating Advent, baking cookies and throwing a birthday party for Jesus), while experiencing new things (like the lights of Strasbourg, galette de Rois, and les Spectacles). But then January hit like a heavyweight boxer and I can no longer deny how very much I miss my life.

I miss homeschooling. I miss David's work day ending at 5pm. I miss sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, eating shrimp and watching the Pats with my mom and dad. I miss our couch and furry rug. I miss the uneven brick sidewalk, wading through the leaves and snow, and marking the changes of the silver fountain garden on our walks to Crystal's house. I miss flavored coffee creamer, Decaf Java Chip Frappuccinos, Double Dunker ice cream, brownies, and fresh whipped cream. I miss the faint whisper of saltwater wafting through the air. I miss understanding and contributing to multiple conversations at once amidst a flurry of activity around a kitchen table surrounded by stay-at-home moms. I miss Mushroom Mondays and Thursday Night Bible Study.

I miss my life.

In the midst of my longing for "normal" I am flooded with gratitude that a countdown is even possible. There is an end to this and a measurable amount of time in which I find myself living someone else's life. This makes it so much easier to embrace the Now, relishing in every new experience, every subtle difference and every foreign challenge with the promise that this is not our home. It is toward that end I can truly say I am thankful for the time I have been given. The life lessons we are learning are innumerable and immense. May we prove ourselves teachable and up to the task.