Language Mishaps - Part One

Humorous moments in French, brought to you by Dave & Erin. Please note these are entitled "Part One" because I fully expect this to be an ongoing series throughout the year. Tune in regularly for updates.

I.
David: What's "rien" mean again?
Erin: Nothing.
David: Nothing, as in I've made up another word that doesn't actually exist or nothing, as in,it literally means "nothing?"
Erin: (Unable to answer due to laughing uncontrollably.)

(Rien does actually mean "nothing" in French and I was able to eventually explain that to David.)

II.
David: What's "quelque chose?"
Erin: Something.
David: Could you be more specific?
Erin: (Unable to answer due to more laughter.)

(Again, "quelque chose" does actually mean "something" in French and I was able once again to set David straight on that.)

III.
We were discussing the process of making wine with a french couple. In the course of the conversation we discovered wines are not stored in oak casks here - they put the wine they import to England and the US in oak because I guess we prefer our wines a little oaky. To make sure I was understanding correctly I asked,

"Alors, le vin ici n'a pas la gout de chien, pas de tout?"

The couples eyes shot open wide and then they both busted out laughing, while the husband managed to retort between snorts,

"Non. Bien sur. Il n'y a pas la gout de chien dans le vin, pas de tout!"

That was when I realized I had asked if the wine had the flavor of dogs here in France. What I meant to say was chene (oak) but I said chien (dog). Oops. Luckily I wasn't at a degustation (wine tasting) - which by the way, is something I have YET to attend for pete's sake!